Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Race for Top Cat


MASON CAMPAIGN PRESS RELEASE - Today, the campaign for Top Cat of the household took a new turn when Mason temporarily suspended his campaign to address the growing concerns of the household over the toy ball crisis.

"Rest assured, members of the household, my plan will call for the household to buy out all of the bad deals that small operations have made in buying toy balls until they lost all value. Our market will stabilize," Mason said in an address to the toys in the living room - a key constituency in Mason's bid for Top Cat.

"Plus, Josie's a bitch," he added.

Josie, a newcomer to the household, is entirely unqualified to run for the position of Top Cat. As of today, the Josie campaign has released no plan to deal with the toy ball crisis.

In further development, while Mason's Vice Top Cat Candidate, Kitty Condo, continues to campaign in the cat room, Josie's even further unqualified running mate, the Giant Cockroach, is campaigning in his native district - the balcony.

"The Giant Cockroach isn't a native citizen," Kitty Condo said in a speech today, "What if Josie should die? Then a COCKROACH from the BALCONY will bring his liberal, outsider ideas to this fair household."

The last numbers from Paw Paw University show that while Josie maintains commanding leads amongst toys in the kitchen and critters on the balcony, Mason continues to poll well in the bedroom, living room and cats' room.

The key parental swing constituency has not been polled recently.

"I am confident that I will emerge as the Next Top Cat in this Household, and I will strut my stuff all over this household when Josie is left in the dust!" Mason declared in the bedroom earlier this month.

No comments: