People often ask me, "Maaaaaason, how do you keep your figure so trim?" I just giggle every so slightly and respond with some compliment I obviously just made up about how much I love some awful thing about them. Truth is, I have a secret diet plan! But don't tell anybody who might know me...
My secret is God's gift the to the world - Kitty Kat Cat Food or Dinnertime! Both are just the manna of cats - a crispy, delicious mixture of fish and chicken. It's a symphony of flavors, and I will step on my own mother just to get it. Why, I even get violent sometimes - in a sort of Judy Garland outburst way. Oh Judy, I miss you!
So, next time you are at Target (which I have never been - I heard only commoners shop there), do give the nearest attendant a little toot-a-loo and get some for yourself. I owe it to those lovely products that I - the fine specimen of catness that I am - can fit into cloths meant for a small dog.
God bless you dearings - unless you call me fat. Then I'll claw your eyes out, and you can burn in hell.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment